A FORTUNATE WIFE is a 5x7 pastel on PastelBord. Bidding begins at $100.
Nobody seemed to show much interest in this doll show series, but I really enjoyed painting them. So I'm still at it. I love these men at the doll show. I also love watching the men's reactions on HGTV decorating shows, when they're genuinely overwhelmed at what a difference an aesthetic transformation can make. What is it about these men that makes me respond to them that way? A doll show pastel to the person who can give me what I think is the best answer.
I think the appeal of these men is that they are showing a sensitivity and genuine interest in participating and sharing in something their wives enjoy. Most times it is the other way around, women going along with the men's interests, going to sports events, hanging out with their friends etc.
ReplyDeleteFunny you bring this up - this seemed to be the topic of the weekend for me on a couple occasions!
As always beautiful work!
I'm guessing that there are few more tangible expressions of true love than going to a doll show with your wife!
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of two girls, but the grandma to three boys, I see a big difference in what little boys are encouraged to focus on: sports, sports, music's okay, but not so much the creative arts. I paint, and I find the boys in their tweens more fascinated with the process than my granddaughters. They are also fascinated with cooking, which is normally not pushed on boys (altho odd that most famous cooks/chefs are male). I think males have a naturaly tendency, like females, to see 'how things come to be', 'how things work', and enjoy beauty every much as females. How many little boys would have loved to play with dolls but were laughed at once past the age of 4? You can see in the man's posture you've drawn he's holding his hands back. He really does want to hold the baby.
ReplyDeleteI think it might be fascinating because it is seductive to see---or really to feel--- that unexpected moment -- that perhaps even he didn't see coming.... couldn't have predicted.... and then there is the thought that maybe you are the only one that saw that moment....and knows about it. There is something wonderful about the power of those moments that don't need words.
ReplyDeletedeb beat me to the punch. they are being unselfish and and i'm guessing you and billions of ladies worldwide thru the ages havent seen much of that from my gender,i'm sad to say. you ladies are way better at being supportive (doing things youre not all that into,but doing it anyway), for sure.
ReplyDeletei know what youre going thru with painting a series that doesnt seem to resonate with our audience. quit or go on?
i did a series of girls wearing white dresses in different settings and poses. nobody would buy em (or even comment on them). gallerys wouldnt take em and hang em for me. but i wanted to keep painting them... so i did. did a bunch in fact. what do ya know... when spring came around they started selling and to this day i cant keep one, when i paint one.so take heart. paint what you want, whether they buy em or not!
i love your stuff. especially the girls in the kimonos. keep up the great work!
Here are some responses to my question:
ReplyDeleteWhen he is at the doll show-he is saying you are my QUEEN, my doll and I will do this for you because I love you and want you to be happy.
I think you captured it beautifully.
Also, thanks for the dog parade-you have interesting quirky subjects that I enjoy.
DH
I agree with you , it is interesting to watch men in unfamiliar territory! I think they have been trained to think that they are the master of all... They know so little about these ‘girl’ things that they are confused and a bit overwhelmed. It’s almost as if they were somehow betrayed by their mothers and who did not teach them these strange things. I guess it’s now up to us!
JM
I don't know about you, Margaret.....but I had a father who never had the patience to attend things or appreciate things that were of no interest to him. We had our once a year outings to the car show and once a year outings to the boat show... and that was it for my dad. Aside from that, it was mom and me attending plays, choosing furnishings. etc. etc. I am always touched by a man who cares about such things or if he doesn't .....he has the sensitivity to become interested....not pretend interest to "do you a favor". I always notice a "fortunate wife" or "fortunate child". A tender "dad" moment in a movie where he says just the right thing will always make me cry. And I mean CRY....not just a tear or two. "Father Knows Best" always appeared like science fiction to me when I was a child.
DS
I too am a fan of HGTV. My husband looks askance at me whenever I go upstairs to the TV room to indulge --- it's considered a rather mindless indulgence in my household (and watching human hulks hurl themselves at each other on Monday night football is expanding his mind?) So I am always surprised when he winds up beside me on the couch and comments favorably on the makeovers.
I think that right side of his brain is finding a safe moment to express itself.
I showed hubby your email and he honed right in on the male point of view:
"Look, men are pragmatists. They know their house isn't going to get an "Extreme Makeover". There's certain parameters the designers are going to have to work with. So they don't expect much. They prepare themselves for some scope of improvement, so they are not disappointed or caught too unawares. And so when these professionals go and pull out all the stops, these guys are genuinely blown away."
And as to why you like these men? Its sweet to see them yield to unadulterated charm! The men at the doll shows? Probably the gentler sort to begin with. And what better and safer place to appreciate innocence, beauty, and grace in miniature than at a doll show.
Love, love your work. Thank you for putting me on the email list!
KP
In regards to your question, "Because we are clueless, sometimes even clumsy, but not heartless, and being genuine showing vulnerability for a few seconds it is sometimes beyond our comprehension. We do not know how to handle emotions."
JP
ok, I'll give it a shot.
ithink once men reach that magical age where they've finished with the business world, then gradually, the real world becomes more important
DW
That's what "pure" unselfishness looks like...in other words "love"
DZ
And some more...
ReplyDeleteHere’s my take on this: It reminds me of when I took an ice skating class and when a man would fall, I’d start giggling. For some strange reason, I got such a thrill from this. “What was this response about?” I’d ask myself.
In my case, I think it was because I thought of men as being athletic and not vulnerable to things like falling on their butts.on ice. That was for under confident and athletically challenged women like me. So it gave me some perverted pleasure to watch a “man” fall and look as pathetic as I felt.
Anyway in your case, although not sadistic like mine, perhaps you enjoy watching men respond out of their stereotypical role, enjoying things like dolls and home makeovers. It may strike you as interesting that they are showing their “feminine” side without being ashamed to “admit it” to the public. It is also an identification thing---- “he’s not so much different than me.”
It’s really nice to see a man act like a “person,” with the macho armor stripped way.
“That’s just my opinion, I could be wrong” (Dennis Miller)
Thanks, this was fun!
JG
Because these men are unwittingly revealing a side of themselves they wouldn't ordinarily show & probably don't even themselves realize exists. It's funny what someone else can see in you that you don't see yourself.
BH
I believe that these men represent something deeper, perhaps - a life that being transformed. These men in your paintings are now taking the time to participate in everyday events that they once deemed too insignificant to pay attention to before. I imagine these men in your Doll Series as wise, gentile - a softer more relaxed transformation of what they were years ago.
If we can wait out the long winter of the cocoon, we will be seeing the emergence of a brilliant butterfly.
ES
The answer is: One need of a woman is to go shopping, not necessarily to buy anything, but just to see what is out there and make it an event. Men generally don't like to go shopping or accompany their wives to the Mall to "shop." If one of the needs of a woman's love language is to receive "quality time" from the spouse, then being accompanied by a spouse giving of his time, presence and interest at a place or event that she enjoys will make her feel loved. In your painting below, the woman is the doll collector, the husband is just along to support her and be with her at a place she enjoys. She feels his love as a result of his gift of quality time to her and her pursuits. My guess is that you may be responding to these men because your love language is receipt of quality time.
GB
You respond so well to these men Margaret because they seem to be publically professing (by virtue of attendance) their deep love and affection for the women in their lives. Men who attend these exhibits display a gentle patience when they show (or even pretend to show) an interest in what we assume to be only a woman’s hobby. They are actually showing love by sharing time…and it seems that we all are much more surprised and impressed when it is a man at a doll show than when it is a woman at a truck show. Guess the former seems to be the rarer!
CM
In answer to your question 'What is it about these men..." I think it is a response to their unselfishness and desire to please their wife/partner. They probably aren't going to see the dolls per se, but they are going to make another person happy by showing interest in what she likes. This kind of man is secure enough in his 'manhood' that he can show his softer side. She is indeed a fortunate wife!
KP
I wanted to leave a comment about the men, but can't figure out how to get back to your blog. And More comments:
ReplyDeleteWould love to win a doll show pastel as I do attend antique doll showa as both buyer & seller. I think the men are secure within, and this reflects outward as a quiet confidence. They are accepting, of themselves & others. They can share...and they love their wives! With these qualities, it is no wonder that one might feel drawn to them. Anyway, good luck to me! And, Happy Thanksgiving to you. (Love my pastel, the two girls looking for Wyeth...just got it back from the framers, it looks terrific!)
P.S.